Pygmalion and Galatea

“If you gods can give all things, may I have as my wife, I pray… one like the ivory 

maiden.” ~Pygmalion 

Pygmalion's story is a bit unusual. His problems sound a lot like those of my older brother's friends: can't find the right woman, can't find a nice girl, can't find a girl.. Pygmalion decided to take matter into his own hands and created his perfect maiden out of ivory, just for comfort and solace. He eventually grew to love this statue and things got a bit weird. He had a habit of kissing the sculpture on the lips every evening and placed beautiful jewels on her fingers and neck. Aphrodite heard of Pygmalion's problems and realized he was in love with his ivory maiden. Being the goddess of love, she addressed Pygmalion's secret wishes and turned his artwork into flesh and bone. From then on, Pygmalion and his maiden, Galatea, lived happily ever after.

If I had Aphrodite's magic powers, I'd choose to bring Junie B. Jones to life. She's really sassy and pretty much my childhood spirit animal. I want to know why she chose to hide in a classroom closet instead of getting on the stupid, smelly bus and I want to know why her middle name is Beatrice but she doesn't like Beatrice because she just likes B and that's all. I also want to know her Kindergarden teacher's name, because Junie B Jones called her Mrs. and Mrs. is a profound cliffhanger.