I just want a cheesy movie scene

After the Great Flood where Noah saved the day, a group of people who all spoke the same language migrated to Shinar. They said that they were going to build a tower so tall that they could reach the heavens. God got pretty mad at this, and as God does, messed with them and scattered languages across all of the people so that no one knew what the other was saying, claiming that "God there confounded the language of all the Earth".

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Going back to memories of being taught this in Sunday School: when I was little and learning this story in our class, our Sunday School teacher gave us all different things to say to people and tried to mess up our languages so that we couldn't accomplish some silly task. It's funny how things you do in a 4th grade class with the Thompsons are the only things you can remember when you're a senior in an AP Lit class. 

Sometimes I think about how exciting it'll be when I die and go to heaven. I mean, do you think that there'll really be a stairway?! Hopefully just an elevator, because in my afterlife, I'm not going to worry about cardio anymore. That's just too much to handle and I hope that God understands slacking off a little after I've made it into heaven. I hope at least that if it's such an inconvenience to get an elevator and I have to have a staircase (or can't we compromise with an escalator?!), then I can make it a scene from a cheesy movie. I know that getting to say goodbye to everyone as I die isn't really how it works, but just imagine going up the staircase to heaven and as it moves, everyone waving to you, and eventually you disappear into the clouds, relishing in the warm-goodness of heaven.

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Hopefully I'll be more enthusiastic than Kristen Stewart

And what do they do when you get there? Open the gates and go, "Heeeeeey, it's Meredith, come on in!" with opening arms, where my pals that have already passed away introduce me to their new heaven friends? Do they show me my room first or take me to the party first? I hope the host doesn't get mad that I didn't bring any food... He is giving me the greatest party of my life eternity, but I thought I paid my dues on Earth and wouldn't have to worry about these kinds of stresses in heaven?!