one, two, FIVE! three, sir. THREE!

The story of King Arthur and the French Rabbit is one of the most well known stories in all of history. After searching tirelessly for the Holy Grail, King Arthur believes that a French occupied castle contains the sacred chalice. He and his loyal knights devise a cunning plan to invade the castle. They built a giant wooden rabbit and gave it to the French as a gift. Then, sir Lancelot, sir Galahad, and I were to leap out of the rabbit, taking the French completely by surprise. Unfortunately, the rabbit was empty, and just as the brave knights were considering building a giant wooden badger, the rabbit was launched from the French castle and King Arthur and his knights promptly ran away.

The original story is very similar except for it was a horse instead of a rabbit and the plan actually worked. The sack of Troy is one of the most savage and brutal acts ever recorded, complete with wanton slaughter, women raped at the shrine of the virgin goddess Athena, and babies flung from the city walls. The gods punished the greek army by destroying most of their ships and the men inside them. Odysseus was not exempt from this punishment, and he spends a good deal of time imprisoned on Calypso's island (which, as far as prisons go, doesn't sound so terrible). He also blinds Poseidon's son, the Cyclopes, which is one of the main reasons why it takes him so long to get home. His men are also complete idiots by opening Odysseus's hurricane in a bag (why he kept that within easy reach of such numbskulls we'll never know) as they were within sight of their home. His men also manage to piss off Apollo (who was mad at them at the start of the Iliad as well) and get murdered.

My dream journey would definitely have to include a heist, large amounts of stolen money/drugs, the mafia/mob or a ridiculously top-secret government agency, at least three major cities on at least two continents, a murder (preferably not my own), as well as some sort of incredible outsmarting done by me and perhaps a few choice accomplices to permanently extract ourselves from the enormous mess we are in. I also would not mind gaining super powers or superawesome ninja moves from the experience.

One of the victims of the sack of Troy
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