Cupid and Psyche

The tale of Cupid and Psyche is a classic love story (in the sense that it's kind of creepy). Basically, Psyche is ultra-hot, and Venus gets angry because everyone thinks that she is more beautiful or the second-coming or something. She sets her son to the task of making Psyche fall in love with an ugly dude [clearly the ultimate form of punishment (though really if she were in love, wouldn't she be happy???????????)] Anyways, she is so hot that he pricks himself with his magical arrow, and this makes him fall in love with her, he flees. Later, some oracle of Apollo--in one of the true "lol epic fails"--tells Psyche's parents that she is destined to marry some terrifying monster. Despite their initial misgivings, they decide, "Yeah, let's make that happen." So they chain her to a mountain in one of the most morbid ceremonies of all time--a combination marriage/funeral. The west wind Zephyr, the true hero of this tale, sweeps her from the mountain into a glorious meadow where she finds a grand house. Luxuries are lavished upon her, and in the classic misogynists' exchange rate, she in turn has to go to bed with some mysterious dude in the dark (WHO COULD IT BE?). She gets tired of this weird arrangement of being essentially a prostitute so she gets her terrible, less beautiful sister to come hang out. They convince her to find out if he is the monster that was prophesied, so at night she takes a lantern to his sleeping form, holding a knife in case he is dangerous. Of course, she sees that it is Cupid, who is pretty hot in his own right, and in her surprise, she spills oil which wakes him up. He sees the knife and gets upset (though really, night murder might be the perfect response to this creepy situation). But she loves him forreal now that she knows he is hot, so she tries to win him back by doing some weird tasks for Venus. In the end, Jupiter settles all the beefs and makes her immortal which is cool I guess idk.

i think this is p much cupid