Hello, self.
Today we're going to talk about Echo and Narcissus.
Oh, that's sounds interesting.
I think so too. But before I begin I'd just like to say that, self, you're looking excellent today.
Why thank you, self! I think you're looking wonderful as well!
You're vey welcome, self. I think we should start the story now.
Ok, self. In greek mythology there was a very beautiful annoying nymph named Echo who talked all the time.
That sounds like some people we know.
Now, self, it's rude to talk about others behind their back.
Self, you're right as usual. Please continue.
Echo angered a goddess with all her talking, so the goddess cursed her to be unable to speak except in reply to someone else.
Ha! It's funny because she's a woman.
Self! That is offensive to some people!
I'm sorry, self. It was only a joke.
It's ok, self. On with the story. Echo, who could no longer speak on her own, fell in love with a man named Narcissus, but could not start a conversation with him. Finally, Narcissus spoke to Echo, but, after a short time, he decided that it was not very interesting listening to his words repeated back to him. He left Echo, and she was so sad that she disintegrated into nothing but her voice.
How odd.
There's more. Narcissus, apparently a serial heart-breaker, broke one too many, and a woman prayed that he be punished. Narcissus was cursed to fall in love but feel no love in return. When Narcissus took a drink from a fountain, he fell in love with himself.
What? How does that work? Compulsive masturbation? cumpulsions. Ha.
Self! Watch you're language! We could be reading this to the class! This is what happens when you listen to too much Eminem.
Whatever. They probably laughed. And if they didn't, ---
Self! What did I just say?!
How did you know I was going to say 'fuck'?
I'm you, remember?
Oh. right. How does the story end?
Well, Narcissus stared at his reflection until he starved to death. The end.
What? That was a lame ending. Why didn't he just compartmentalize his duality in order to recognize the destructive nature of his reflection and do something meaningful?
Would you call this very meaningful? And I'm not sure you can define Narcissus and his reflection as a duality. I mean, a reflection can't exactly create a contrary idea.
Yes you can. The conflict was between his magically induced emotions and his evolutionary will to eat when he's hungry. And what do you mean reflections can't produce contrary thoughts? Are you saying I don't exist? That I don't have a will of my own?! Maybe you're the secondary one! Watch! I'm willing you out of existence!!!
************
***POOF***
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Hello?
What?
Damn it.
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