So our boy Moses is out in the fields tending the flocks of his father-in-law when he leads the heard toward Horeb, ye old mountain o'god. Then an angel/God sets a bush before him aflame and he is quite taken aback to see that the bush is not consumed by the flames that surround it. He tries to get a better view of how this could possibly be happening and the Lord God speaks out to him. Like a good Shinto priest God has Moses remove his sandals and bow before the presence of the holiest of the holy. He then commands Moses to go unto Egypt and relieve the people of Israel from the oppression in which they live there. Moses is doubtful that the Pharaoh of Egypt will listen to lowly old him, but God assures him it's gonna work out. God proceeds to hint at his mega evil master plan to wrath the shit out of Egypt until the Israelites can leave. And if this weren't bad enough, bush-talking God goes on to explain how he will force the Egyptians to hand over their valuables to the Hebes before they split. The funny thing about all of Exodus is that historically, yes the Jews did work in Egypt on the Pyramids, but there's not much evidence supporting they were enslaved or even oppressed in any way worse than the average Egyptian. When you take this into account this whole story is just God really wanting to settle some old vendetta with Horus. God explains to Moses that there is a fantastic rich place waiting for them once they exit Egypt, and all they have to do is massacre all the Cannanites: What a deal! (Even OG Zionists had to kill off indigenous people to have their state)
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