Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Day by the Sea

Toes in the still cool sand
The color of the waves from purple to a hazy blue changing
Washed up from the previous night, littering the beach are prickly shells
The sound of the beachgoers just arriving ashore
At dawn contrasts with the pounding surf
Toward Cuba, looking south

As the sun continues to rise, facing south
Feeling the soft sand
Before the surf
The view of the sky changing
Alone ashore
Amongst the shells

Now vivid & colorful, ornate shells
Are gazing south
As the tide begins to recede, slightly ashore
Atop the sand
Position constantly changing
Because of the wild surf

The currently peaceful surf
Bathing the shells
Like the position of the sun is constantly changing
Though always coming from the south
Washing over the sand
tranquilly ashore

Coming ashore
With the surf
Into sand
Over the shells
From the south
The wind is changing

Colors of the day are changing
Waves lapping ashore
Dolphins seen in the distance south
Sun setting above the surf
Discoloring the shells
Darkening the sand

The day has come to a close ashore on the rich, smooth sand
changing as the shells eventually leave, the surf
continues to pound against the beach from the south.


With this revision, I made my sestina really model the change that the beach sees over the course of a particular day. Initially, the beach is awakening after dawn and gradually begins to attract a crowd while the tide is still high. As a the day progresses, the tide recedes and the colors noticed by a bystander change as well. Finally, the beach becomes peaceful as the day comes to a close and night begins to take over the scene. Revising my poem helped me create a narrative structure while also incorporating more enjambment and figurative language. I also added a title! 



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